My heart will break...

There's a jukebox in my ear
Playing so loud I can hardly hear
It's tellin' a story about a boy like you
And each selection that I make
Tells me how my heart will break
For falling in love with a boy like you.
-- Boy Like You
Loretta Lynn

 

Do you ever make a decision that you know you will regret later, but if you don't make that decision you will regret never knowing for the rest of your life. 

Maybe it has to do with the idea of loving and loosing. That idea that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. You enter into something knowing that it could very well self destruct, but you do it anyway because it is better to have tried than not. 

Or maybe it has more to do with inflicting pain upon yourself. If you never try something then you will never get hurt. But if you try and fail, you cause yourself pain (but you learn). 

So if you enter into something knowing that you will most likely fail, is that a bad thing, or does it show that you are willing to try.

Because I met someone. 

Someone who is perfectly imperfect. 

Someone with flaws and goals and passion. 

Someone that I could love. 

And I know that he will most likely move away in a few months. The thought scares me so I push it away to just enjoy the moment. But I know that he will move away and my heart will be broken. It doesn't matter how many times I remind myself that I cannot fall for him. I do. I do it anyway. 

So I enjoy the moment because he is already the song in my head that I can't ignore. The lyrics that I can't get out of my head. So I listen to him again and again and fall deeper and deeper into the abyss.